- James Stevenson, Accredited Wellbeing Coach and Positive Psychologist -
Are you interested by the idea of 5 years to live goals?
This is the idea of imagining you have just 5 years to live, and thinking about what you'd like to achieve from that perspective. Of course, nothing needs to be acted upon. It can be seen as a kind of interesting way of reflecting.
This hypothetical question reminds me of the well-known Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Address about living each day like it's the last. This was based on his close-call with cancer. The wisdom that arose out of his experience, is relevant to this activity I think.
He said, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose,”
He also said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life … Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."
Without having a brush with death similar to Steve Jobs, we can still listen in earnest to him and others who have experienced similar, and try our best to reflect on ourselves. We can allow ourselves to become inspired and try to take one small meaningful step forwards.
If it's been a while why not have a quick read? It's in the 3rd of 3 stories he shares.
As an accredited coach and positive psychologist I ask questions that allow my clients to think in new ways. Using time in this way can provide a new and helpful perspective.
Because of the existential element to this question, this is definitely one where I'd preface it with, "feel free to skip this question if you like... " or I'd ask "How do you feel about answering a ?? years to live question?". If there is enthusiasm there, then I'd go for it.
If a question doesn't quit hit the spot, I sometimes encourage my clients to explore changing it. If they don't seem keen on 5 years, I might ask how many years would work for you? If death feels a bit grave, I might ask what a more fun version might be? 5 years until I move to Barbados? The idea is to be flexible using the same principles and make it work for each person. How can you make this work best for you?
There are a few ways of doing this exercise. Alone, with a friend, in a small group....
If doing it with a friend, or someone who shares an interest in this topic you can take turns asking each other a question and give the other person perhaps 5 mins to answer while giving them quality natural attention and active listening. i.e. no fidgeting, suitable eye contact, nodding, and listening sounds.
If doing it in a small group, how about going around the group giving 3 minutes for each person to share uninterrupted. Everyone in the group is encouraged to give quality attention and respect. You could do this 2 or 3 times with questions that look at it from a slightly different angle. It can be valuable to have multiple people's differing thoughts about a topic such as this. Lots to learn.
If doing it by yourself, Perhaps as a writing exercise? You could answer all the questions or if you want a quicker exercise, you could choose 3/4 of the most interesting questions for you and see what comes up...
Remember that there is no one-way to answer these questions. There is no correct way or answer. Also feel free to play around with the time-frame.
If you'd like to work on this with an experienced and accredited coach then feel free to get in touch via my one to one coaching site, humancatalyst.co.uk. I'd be happy to help.
James Stevenson is the owner of WiseGoals.com and a qualified and accredited wellbeing and philosophy coach.
He works with clients in an patient, understanding and creative way to help them apply great philosophical ideas and psychological scientific findings so they can flourish in a way that leads to them also contributing to a better world.
The development of a strong sense of mattering and agency, alongside deep understanding of inner and outer obstacles give clients a powerful coaching experience. More about James here.
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