3 Important Steps To Reaching Your Relationship goals Sooner

-   James Stevenson, Accredited Wellbeing Coach and Positive Psychologist -

Is finding a partner your number 1 goal? You're certainly not alone! The 5th most popular goal in the world is to fall in love! 

Relationship goals. Picture perfect couples smiling happily on Instagram... Deep connection, strong passion for each other, a vibe of truly enjoying each others company...

If you're looking for love these pictures may stir that desire in you even more... they may even drive you a bit nutty!  

Beautiful people and beautiful pictures aside... you can give yourself some really important qualities to help your search by creating a goal. Here are 3 things you can do.

relationship goals quoteIs our relationship a source of inspiration? Is the world lucky to have us?

1. Become the partner you want to be

Ok maybe this isn't exactly what Ghandi famously said... But you get the gist!

What are your goals when it comes to love? People are often searching for the 'perfect' partner in the same way they might search for the perfect strawberry cheesecake. Certainly I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that! 

Unfortunately, we don't simply attract what we want (oh man, I wish we did). Rather, we get kind of "get what we are" or we get what deep down we think we deserve is closer to the truth. Of course even who we are is changing all the time. 

It may not be the quickest but pretty much every wise person I come across says the surest way to way to find a partner and create a wonderful relationship is to focus on what you bring to the table. When you change, your whole world changes, which naturally includes your relationships.

2. Take practical steps as well

This doesn't mean you shouldn't set specific goals for the kind of person you want to be with and the kind of relationship you want to have. The two are connected.

relationships quoteSomething worthy to aim for?

Once you have decided the kind of person you want to be with... you can start taking actions both towards becoming even more of that person yourself, as well as practical actions to meet the person. 

You may make a decision "I won't allow any person to treat me badly ever again no matter what". Or if your last partner was cruel you may promise to yourself "I will never say cruel and hurtful things about another person ever again". You can take these intentions that are close to your heart and turn them into concrete goals. For example:

"In the next two weeks, If anyone treats me badly I will stand up for myself and say "I refuse to be treated this way" without saying anything cruel about the person."  

It's common sense that some of the best relationship goals are small changes in behaviour that lead towards your ideal.

3. Creating an ideal relationship goals partner list

Who ever said dreaming and aiming is a bad thing?

This funny old world changes when we are aiming for something.

You can create a list of relationship goals your partner will have. Perhaps a list of 10-20 or so qualities so you are really encouraged to think in detail.

  • Will your partner be someone you can trust?
  • Will they treat you well even when things are going badly?
  • Will they encourage you to go for the things that make you happy?
  • Will they share an interest with you?
  • Will they have a warm heart and be considerate and kind to people outside of your family?
  • Will they be truthful with you?
  • Will they be helpful? 

The list can go on and on and on as far as your imagination takes you.

You may think, "come on?! Does such a person even exist?". Certainly they do. 

If you strive in your own unique way to become like the person you want to be with, while remaining completely true to yourself and who you are, you will in time attract people that fit your list.

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James Stevenson is the owner of WiseGoals.com and a qualified and accredited wellbeing and philosophy coach.

He works with clients in an patient, understanding and creative way to help them apply great philosophical ideas and psychological scientific findings so they can flourish in a way that leads to them also contributing to a better world.

The development of a strong sense of mattering and agency, alongside deep understanding of inner and outer obstacles give clients a powerful coaching experience. More about James here

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